I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
