In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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