I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize