So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i drank out of a bidet.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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