finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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