I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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