remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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