yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
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I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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