Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Say something about gay babies.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
a search helicopter?!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
