i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Houston, we have a blender
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
