My sheets look like a crime scene.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
