I want to make a zoo with you.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
