im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize