Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Can I color on your dick again?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
