I need help removing her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
MIDGETS
????
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize