i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
