I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???