I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose