found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
