I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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