I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
