I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
