I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
