I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
