Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
