I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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