I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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