miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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