Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
