Swine flu. Run for my life!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
