Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
