We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
