hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
