At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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