You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
