Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i've created a new STD.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
