We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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