why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
