when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
