I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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