He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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