He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize