no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
