O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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