Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
