We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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