he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
