fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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