OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize