He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
