trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize