Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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