like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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