I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize