Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
