where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
