just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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