I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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