I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
