I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
