Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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