I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize