you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
