I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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