i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
