I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
